Trypd - Blog

11.7.08

{ Rattling can? }

I'm terrified of speaking in public. In high school when I had to make a presentation to the class, more often than not my sweaty palms and flushed face would bely the fact that my blood was thundering in my ears and that my throat managed to turn into something akin to a cement filled elevator shaft. When I say I was terrified, I mean that I would have rather taken the Uniform CPA Examination on penalty of grievous injury than given a two minute oral presentation. I'm a wuss like that.

Yesterday I was shipped off to give, with the amazing company of two better spoken persons than I, an hour long presentation to professionals in a field I'm still working my way into. I was lucky to be presenting with these two wonderful people since they both have unique personalities, and plenty of energy to keep the crowd interested. Still, I was feeling nervous about the fact that I hadn't started to feel nervous yet. I know how horrible that sounds, but if my memory serves me even faintly, times like that usually signaled the worst of the dread when my time came to be captain of the ship. (I just mistyped "captain of the shit" and thought about leaving it in there) So my nerves were on fire because they weren't bothering me. It's stupid. Closer and closer crept the time to present, and not without it's own complications. Let's just say, always check to make sure you a) test your presentation on the machine you're going to use BEFORE you drive an hour and a half away from the people who hold admin passwords and b) bring the proper cords for your back up (personal) machine...

Before I knew it both of the other presenters with me had already finished their portions of the presentation, and then it was my turn. Oddly, I was absolutely calm, maybe even a little excited. Yes, that's right, my brain died. Or so it seemed, my mind went completely silent, my mouth opened, and I began talking, going through everything that I had meant to say came out. I improvised when it was needed, answered questions and even made a few little jokes here and there (yes, people laughed). Could it be? Am I now broken-in for speaking? I know this came out a little self-important, but hey, if a guy can't revel in overcoming his biggest personal fear, what the shit is life for? :D

Labels: personal, work

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